My abuse was confirmed to have started at two. I am not really sure which did more damage, the actual sexual abuse or the mental abuse. My father is a very charismatic and charming man externally. However, within closed circles he was calmly violent, what he said and did was very disturbing to the mind. For instance, when he sensed he was losing control over my mother or me, we would come home find one of our pets dead. He would leave them shocking places for us to find; like my cat in freezer. So when he would whisper in your ear not to tell, as a preschooler, you did not tell! I do not wish to upset you, but rather show the extreme need Ashley has for your help.

Any novice in child psychology will tell you that type of abuse at such a young age, bends the mind to practically irreparable damage. It is at this age we come to understand how the world works, how to speak English, social edict, what is expected and when. When this type of extreme abuse is taught to a child of this age, it becomes how the world is. Ashley was learning this is how the world works, and it has messed her up badly. As a child I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't get out. I learned to lie at a drop of dime, I had to. In order to cope with being raped in one room and then get ready for school in the next I had to learn how to lie to myself and the world around me. Soon I began living a split life, the world saw, and one that I had to endure. It was a lifestyle at my house. Some abuse goes in cycles, where there are "honeymoon" periods of relief. But my abuse, as well as Ashley's, was an ongoing daily event to one level or another.

When a child of any age is sexually abused, it takes down personal walls and boundaries; leaving the child vulnerable to other abusers their own age or older. Our society gives the message that sex is power, and victims of sexual abuse will tell you they know what it is like to have their power taken away. Many victims lash back with either shutting down, and hiding from identifying at all with their sexuality and gender or they overly sexualize themselves to try to get a sense of power back into their lives. Some resort to cutting, drugs, alcohol and sex, anything to run from the pain.

Ashley has done no differently.

By the time I was 9 I was attempting suicide to get free of my father. At the age of 13, it didn't matter to me any more whether my father would kill me or not I had to go to the police. Now just so you understand, my father did not threaten in vain. He did make two attempts during the trial to kill me, and one attempt a year after he was out of prison. So Ashley's fear in her mind is real.

Ashley does not need to go through a life like I had. We know so much more today than we did in 1979. She can get the help she needs to "remap" her thinking process and give her skills so she won't end up like I did. I have been used, abused, raped, divorced twice, had an abortion at 17 and to this day I am so afraid to be vulnerable and trust anyone, especially a man, I keep my heart isolated and have spent most of my life living alone.

Ashley does not have to live a life hooked on drugs, sex, obesity, depression and the list goes on and on. She can be healed and live a life now that is good with healthy decisions. But she needs your help. Insurance will not cover her treatment right now because of two reasons. One is she is not "yet" addicted to drugs or alcohol, and two her sexual abuse of herself has not yet reached extreme illegal penalties. In other words, her life is not yet in complete shambles. But we do not want to wait until it gets that far, let's start now before it is too late. She has been in six months and Is doing great, but she needs 10 more months and the fees for the year is close to $40,000.

I have never met Ashley, but I know the torture she has been through and that still goes on in her mind. My son, a US Marine, has never met her either and we are both committed monthly contributing to her healing. This is a cancer of heart and mind, if she does not get the help she needs, it will eventually kill her.

I am asking that you PLEASE DO SOMETHING. Five dollars a month or fifty a month as God has given you the grace to give. You must do something though, you have to do something. Ashley's parents can not do this alone. Even if your help is small, it may speak to non-family donators and perhaps they will be moved to help. Thank you so very much, Daughter of Ashley’s abuser

Ashley started counseling while her father and I went to a group for parents of children who had been molested. We started marriage counseling and family counseling with Ashley. This was a county run program, and we soon discovered that the rapid rotation of therapists proved detrimental to everyone's emotional health and proved extremely stressful to all of us.

We continued therapy, however, with the thought that something was better than nothing. What started to happen, though, was that with each move of a counselor, Ashley would act out. She had been caught several times writing sexually explicit notes to another student. Her grades declined, and the school she had attended since kindergarten would no longer tolerate her behavior problems.

That summer Ashley acted out with a friend. The parents were devastated and the police were called. Their investigation did not find a need for Child Protective Services to get involved. But as a result of this incident, her life would again change as now her social life had to be supervised and sleepovers with girlfriends eliminated. We continued working with her therapist and kept Ashley close to home.

Over the next two years we watched an escalation of her emotional decline - grades dropped, no friends outside of school and basketball, and depression set in. One therapist she was seeing expressed concern that she was developing a dissociative disorder. We were fortunate at this point, when an art therapist came into our lives. She seemed to help calm the chaos and Ashley was able to see her twice a week.

The time was well spent and as a family we thought we started to heal. Ashley's grades improved and our conversations were becoming more frequent. Her anger subsided and there were some glimpses of happiness. It was her best basketball season. Everyone noticed and commented on how well she was doing. We thought we hit a milestone.

Then on December 25, 2007, Ashley snuck out of our home. Another parent contacted us, and we immediately began to search. When we finally found her, she was scared to come home. A few days later Ashley confided in a family member that she had met up with a boy and had sexual relations behind a grocery store. My husband contacted the police and had to take her back to the emergency room with the same doctor just a few years ago.

This time however, charges were filed with the police and a formal court hearing was held. The court determined she was too young to give consent and the nineteen year old boy was charged with having sex with a minor.

We were all in a state of shock. There were no warning signs. Her therapist could not believe what had happened. Ashley was removed from our home and spent two weeks at an alternative house. They helped with therapy and suggested new avenues to pursue. We started looking for a program for Ashley but were told by each one they could not help us because she was not "that bad yet". Every place that our research discovered or our insurance recommended cost between $30,000 to $40,000 which we could not pay nor did we have enough credit to qualify for a loan.

Believing we had nowhere to turn, we took the only option we could and sought a county counselor that might take a more aggressive approach. We were able to cover the costs of keeping her art therapist on so Ashley would not have to feel another loss.

When fall came, Ashley entered high school and had a good start to the year. She made her school's basketball team and seemed to make some good friends. She started earning back trust and getting to do things with friends. We were all trying.

The following December, her therapist took maternity leave. She was assigned to a temporary therapist who was familiar with Ashley's story. All things appeared to be going well until Feburary, two days before her last basketball game, when Fairfax County police called. They were holding Ashley at the local shopping center where she was found with boys in a car with alcohol and performing oral sex. The officers told us they understand many children today are acting out and to just take her home and keep her there.

Each time we think we are on the road to recovery, seemingly without warning, we are plunged back into the depths or emotional chaos. Years later, our daughter is still hurting and we didn't know where to turn. Since there didn't seem to be any new leads for us to explore, I started calling the places we tried to get her into the previous year. To my surprise they told us to bring her to Teen Challenge in Lakeland Florida. They agreed to help Ashley regain her life and educate us as a family. We travel to Teen Challenge every seven weeks now to participate in a parent weekend. This is not just Ashley's battle, it is our family's story.

We are trying to find a way to heal Ashley. Our prayer is that no child will be denied help and they will not have to wait until they are "that bad".